Being happy is like trying to hold water. As you are desperately cupping your hands its slowly leaking away through your fingers and evaporating into the air.
I finally have a good team of bar staff at work. I get along with all of them really well and we have fun. Plus everything gets done and done well which is more than I have come to expect from past workmates. But I can't help but feel like something is going to fall apart. I'm scared.
Which starts a vicious cycle because I then begin to worry that I will never be able to be happy without this "impending doom" attitude that seems to come with it.
Also I'm feeling rather anxious because I have a best friend whom I love to bits but is unfortunately an uncontrollably selfish slutty bitch. I'm having real trouble hanging out with her and even just being civil. I know deep down that she's a good person but its so hard to remember that when she's being so awful.
Yesterday we were out together and she wore my $250.00 shoes. Which would be fine. If she asked. Which she didn't. I couldn't stop looking at them all night. I have only worn them once before and now they are all scuffed. I feel like her selfishness is now rubbing off on me. It seems so petty when I think about it but I really can't help the feeling.
All in all not such a good day.
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